No one is always perfect.
There are moments in one’s life where you have had to have made some fashion missteps, it’s only a part of growing up. It’s normal, I swear, to not be perfect 365 days a year.
But to keep following the trendy flock without looking in a mirror or paying mind on how that fad works on YOU, is just plain silly… particularly when there are some dang nasty, fugly, tacky, and unflattering looks around.
Considering the end of the year is just around the corner, there’s nothing like Turkey Day to share some style duds of the ugliest fashion trends that wreck my nerves.
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Let’s throw a few drumsticks to the wind and put these trussed up fashion turkeys to rest, because YOU can really do better!
Is she real? A question that was often heard on Fire Island during the Invasion and now is silently uttered at many a TV fashionista and their stylin’ clones. Please, stop yourself from over glamming before you leave the house to avoid looking like a drag queen.
Off duty porn star. Almost has a bit of the tranny appeal but overexposes the wearer that leaves nothing to the imagination with bodycon dresses that barely covering your peekachu and boob spillage that even Dr. Implant would think twice about.
On a more specific front…
Open toe booties with lots of embellishments. I am thankful that gladiator platforms have finally bit the dust, but these shoddy shooties don’t seem to want to go away. Oy.
Big, floppy sister K style hats. Ah, you know the ones, they kinda look like a cross between a 1970’s pimp and Balloon Boy. See how our trussed up turkey looks in the hat above… that could be you. Or not.
Maxi dresses that look like night gowns. Jersey, clingy, shapeless and long, and usually worn with…
Bedazzled platform flip-flops. The pr pitch that quickly gets pitched to the round file. There is nothing remotely classy about flip-flops, particularly when in white or pink and bejeweled within an inch of their life. I can’t think of one place where these tacky flip-flops look right… no, not even on the way to pedicure.
Little rompers on big girls. I know you think they look cute, and they do on the sandbox set but on a grown woman, no matter how high a shoe your pair them with, they just look too juvenile. This one is from a brand called Promiscuous. Go figure.
Printed fake nails. Plaid and leopard print nail skins, or rotten mint green are not the way to go in sophisticated style… particularly on someone over 25.
Repunzel-like hair extensions. At exaggerated lengths, hair no longer flatters your face shape or figure and absolutely drags you down, while accentuating wrinkles.
Exaggerated false eyelashes that look like little hummingbirds fluttering on your lids. Back to the K sisters for proliferating this cosmetic cross between drag queen and porn star.
The orange spray tan. If you want to try a sunless tan, try a shade that is found in nature and doesn’t resemble a rusty can or a shore side grease ball.
You’ve read my list and I hope you chucked the turkeys twice… here’s to a stylish Thanksgiving!