This week’s episode of 7 Days to Amazing features Jakie Ruka, America’s “Happyologist” and Founder of Get Happy Zone Inc. talks about How to Get Happy + Enjoy Your Life so that you can make your life more amazing in the next week.
Listen in as Jackie scientifically and joyfully educates you to get happy by disrupting the “stress to reach success” mindset in your life and work, so you can shift to an improved world being, have positive habits and a more balanced, purposeful life.
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Announcer: Welcome to the Seven Days to Amazing Podcast where you learn how to make your life, business and style even more amazing in the next week! Now your host, Sharon Haver, of FocusOnStyle.com.
Sharon Haver: Hello chicsters, I am Sharon Haver and you are about to be amazed! I have a very special guest on today’s happy episode of Seven Days to Amazing. Jackie Ruka is America’s Happyologist. She is also a certified action success coach which is affiliated with Harvard University and Medical School. Jackie scientifically and joyfully educates you to get happy by disrupting the stress to reach success mindset in your life and work, so you can shift to an improved world being, have positive habits and more balance, purpose and fulfillment in your life.
If you’re like me, I’m sure you want to learn how to improve productivity and abundance in your life and in your business. Before founding her science based Get Happy Movement, Jackie trained as a psychotherapist and has been quoted in the Wall Street Journal, Yahoo Finance and Daily Worth for her knowledge with assisting client’s in business, overcoming limiting beliefs and leadership to creating vibrant lifestyles. Jackie’s book, Get Happy and Create a Kick Butt Life offers inspirational, pro active practices to take your life to the next level. I can see why that became an instant Best Seller. You can find Jackie online at the GetHappyZone.com and on her weekly Facebook live trainings.
Today Jackie will tell us how to create a positive mind-set that matters so that you can reach your ultimate potential and happiness, health and life. I’ve got a big happy grin on my face already and can’t wait to learn more.
Welcome Jackie Ruka, America’s Happyologist! I am beyond happy, thrilled and joyful to have you with us here today.
Jackie Ruka: Well thank you, that’s an amazing introduction that you gave and I’m thrilled to be here.
Sharon Haver: Thank you! I really do have this big smile on my face. In full disclosure, Jackie and I know each other as we met at a happy event in Palm Beach, two years ago already? It was a while ago…
Jackie Ruka: Yeah.
Sharon Haver: And Jackie is the real deal when it comes to really having a happy and fulfilling life. So I want to start here as most of us strive to find this kind of joy and happiness in business and in life because when we start doing this, we start functioning rather than thriving and you can forget what it’s like to really have that joy. How did you get to the point in your life where you decided to become a Happyologist?
Jackie Ruka: Oh boy, well you know I worked in mental health when I first started my career so I was very much surrounded by…what can I say… a lot of heavy energy and saw people struggling and so obviously we know mental illness is troubling throughout the world, unfortunately we tend to focus on the negative in life in general and it really drowns out the positive.
So at some point in my life, I decided I am way too young to be dealing with this heavy energy and it doesn’t mean I don’t want to help people, it made me realize that I want to help people on the opposite end of recognizing that it’s not success that leads to your happiness, it’s actually your happiness that leads to success.
And until I recognized my own happiness and felt my true essence did I realize that I need to lead with my happiness and do what feels right and within my own life and move forward in that manner.
That’s how all of that thought process and feeling all bubbled up when I was a psychotherapist, we’re talking twenty years ago. And that was a defining moment in recognizing that I was meant for something bigger and larger than what I was currently doing at the time and so instead of resisting it, like many of us often do, because we all have some kind of a calling that is recognizing your uniqueness, I decided okay, I need to go with this, I need to really follow what my true passion and purpose is, and you know that can take a while. It doesn’t mean it’s going to happen overnight, we’re not all an overnight success.
I think the wonderful thing about it, is to have the courage to really check in, because the way out is by going in. So when I started checking in with myself is when I had the epiphanies and the a-ha’s of what’s my joy.
Sharon Haver: So that’s a really great point, to go out you have to go in and I think it’s something that so many people miss and just overlook. I just came back from this really intensive business mastermind and one of my a-ha’s that I got out of it is exactly what you just said, you’ve got to start with a beginning and an end, all of this middle stuff gets in the way but the only way you can get to the end is by setting your goals and going inside of yourself and seeing what holds you back.
I know for me, we all had our little interesting tear-jerker moments there because it’s relieving to just let go of all these things that we get stuck with.
So how can you help someone in a way to get inside of themselves because so many people? Especially I know when I talk to people on any of my First Impression Sessions, or Get Style calls, people are wanting to find a more interesting way to present themselves in a more un-grand way and stronger way, yet they shy away from it because it suddenly holds this mirror up and it’s not the shoe that they’re wearing and it’s not the dress or their hair not being done, it’s really goes to such deeper level of what’s holding them back and their own fear of flying and their fear of success. So, what’s the best way to go in and is it always tear jerking and ugly to get to your happy place, how do you get to that zone?
Jackie Ruka: That’s a great question. The short version is, and it might sting when I say this but the short version is change your story.
The quickest way to get to the next level of yourself is to change your old story, the old stuff that you believe about yourself.
It’s time to let that go and change your story and changing your story is asking yourself inspirational questions like: “What do I want to be?” “What excites me?” Where do I want to go next?” What does that look like?”
Look at it as a canvas that is completely blank as to drawing, painting, whatever it is that excites you, inspires you and let go of the stuff that is holding you back, and I’m not saying that the stuff that has been holding you back or is part of your old story isn’t important, it helps shape you but you have to bring the lessons that you learned from it, bring the good stuff that you learned from your old story with you, those are the lessons.
What pollutes you from moving forward is hanging onto the negative feelings related to your old story, the victims, the doom and gloom, the I could of, should of, would of’s.
You gotta let that stuff go because it’s not serving you, and it’s keeping you in the negative and in order to get into the positive it also means changing your habits and changing your thoughts, because your thoughts become things.
So you’re transmuting the negative into replacing it into a positive, so what’s so awesome about what you do Sharon, is when you go on a deeper level with people, you can simply change someone’s story by getting someone who might wear black all the time to wearing a color that’s vibrant, that brings out their skin tone, that is something that is powerful in its own right but nobody really ever saw it within themselves.
Sharon Haver: That’s the whole thing, they never really see it in themselves, it’s so interesting when you talk to someone and you realize that not only do they not see it in themselves, they’re purposely stepping on their own foot not to see it.
They don’t want to see it, and then when they reach that apex, and they say “Oh my God, I not only look like a different person, I’m showing up, I’m looking polished, I’m looking professional.”
The confidence that comes out from just being the one and projecting it, that’s what’s amazing. That’s what keeps me going, and I’m sure you find the same thing, it’s like how can you feel confident when you’re miserable? You feel confident when you feel happy about yourself and that comes from your emotions, to what you wear, to where you live, to how you run your business, it all goes together. There’s this certain….for me it’s like confidence and happiness go together and authentic confidence, not “I’m sitting here with bravado,” but “I feel at ease with myself.”
Jackie Ruka: Well, you bring up a couple of really good points; one is when people are not feeling confident, it’s not that they don’t have confidence, confidence is actually something that you have to practice, because when you master something, then you feel confident because you know you can do it because you’ve done it over and over again, and you know what the winning result is going to be, so that confidence is actually like a staircase you build up to it, to the point where you’re practicing something and mastering something to the point that the confidence is just building itself.
However on the opposite side of things, and this also goes with style, is asking “What are you hiding?”
Some people are afraid of their own power and I mean authentic power, I mean what your talent is, what your gift is, what your uniqueness is, what your purpose is, what your passion is; people squash that within themselves, their scared of it, it’s’ a fear of expressing who they really are and recognizing that nowadays especially, most people are not paying attention to you, they’re looking at their phone.
So what’s really important is, go ahead and do it anyway, you want to get outside of hiding who you really are, recognize your truth and express it from the inside out.
Don’t be ashamed or scared or fearful, those are all illusions and it doesn’t mean that you don’t feel it, but what you need to recognize about feelings, whether they’re positive or negative is that they’re fleeting, they happen for a few seconds, a few minutes and then they go away.
But if you feed it, it’s like feeding an animal, they’re going to keep coming back, that feeling is going to keep coming back, so don’t feed it, feed what feels good, and recognize the fear, or the self-doubt, or the negative self talk, or the “I’m not good enough,” those are just feelings and they are fleeting. And you have the power to dismiss them, by saying “Stop, I’m not inviting you in anymore.”
Replace it with a positive mantra or a positive picture if you are a visual person, something that you can replace the negative with the positive, and if you need a coach, or a mentor, or a colleague, or that one girlfriend who kicks you in the ass, if that’s what’s going to help you move outside of who you are into your true potential, then you need to go for that and not be scared. Because often times if I’ve asked my twenty-one year old self “What would you change?” I would stop being so scared and just do it anyway…
Sharon Haver: Fear, it’s unbelievable, it’s like a flood, you know when you have the water and the flooding. It could be a flood, fire and fear, an insurance claim, they all come in with such force and just destroy everything around you. I know sometimes you just need to be gutsy, you need to take the risk in yourself and not be afraid, and say “What if?” “What am I going to lose if I did this?”
I know of so many of these people, it’s interesting for me, I know when I’m looking at them and it’s a simple conversation about how they’re showing up, people have such psychological issues beyond this, and it’s unbelievable, and it really is the fear of succeeding because what happens if you succeed?
How will that change your life?
It gets to a deeper level of it, it’ll change your life in a positive way but they are very happy or content I should say – being in a miserable way. It’s better to be miserable sometimes because it’s ‘the known’ than to be happy ‘the unknown.’
So if someone has that, how do you break that wall down where they can get ahead and realize that being happy and the mundane and miserable and blah, is not being happy or being content when you can thrive? It’s that whole fear of flying, fear of thriving.
Jackie Ruka: Right and that’s a good point. The scarcity mindset of I’m not good enough or staying in the comfort zone because if there’s something really great outside of the comfort zone, oftentimes people don’t see it because they’re surrounded in their comfort zone which could be that whole scarcity mindset.
So, instead of asking, “What’s the worst that could happen?” Change that thought to “What’s the best that could happen?”
Oftentimes we all think in a society, ‘Well what’s the worst that could happen?’ Well, the worst that could happen is you stay in your comfort zone and you stay stuck and you don’t go anywhere and then what? Then the book that’s in you or the career that’s in you or the people you’re supposed to be serving, you’re denying all of that. So you become your own worst enemy.
Sharon Haver: Or even the joy or the experience. I know there’s so many women who think ‘I can’t wait to go to Paris. I can’t wait do this,’ but rather than actually getting themselves together with the goal of saving up or just saying, ‘Okay, in the year 2018, I’m going to go there or wherever it is, they rather go ‘I’m going to look at pretty pictures. I’m going to spend money in a program that can take my mindset there and I don’t understand that.
Life is so full of experiences and if you want to see the world, make it your part to see the world. Do the little things everyday as sort of the breadcrumbs steps to go out there. I find so many people are stagnant and they’re stuck because they are afraid to go out on life’s adventures and the joy that it brings back to them and I find that amazing.
So I know for me, for people, if you want to be amazing, get out of your house and explore, go where you want to go and set it on your calendar. If you can’t afford to do it, figure out how you can budget it in at a realistic time frame but go out. There’s inspiration all over you and it’s interesting that people who rather have excuses than go out there, so how do you break away from the excuses Jackie?
Jackie Ruka: Well, it’s those feel good patterns that people have and so feel good patterns are, like I mentioned earlier, they’re just habits. People do the same thing over and over but they’re not getting the result; it’s the definition of craziness.
Sharon Haver: Right.
Jackie Ruka: So then you’ve got to change a pattern that you might have or tweak it and change it so that you’ve got to want to have it enough to put it into play. So if you got a goal and let’s say “My goal is I want to go to Paris,” well first of all, change how you’re even saying it. Say, “I’m going to Paris!”
Sharon Haver: Absolutely.
Jackie Ruka: “This is how I’m going to make it happen” and it may not be for two years from now because you need to save up the money or you don’t have enough vacation time or whatever it might be, so reverse engineer it. Put the goal out there as, “I’m going to Paris” – then reverse engineer it; what are the action steps that I can start putting into play to get closer to “I’m going to Paris?” “How much is a plane ticket?” Put a budget together. “Well how many more hours do I need to put in or how many more clients do I need to attain to put towards my budget to go to Paris?”
So if you are passionate enough about it, then you will do something about it, you have to want it enough. If you don’t want it enough, then it’s just a thought, it’s just a dream. An action turns your dream into a plan. If you don’t have a plan, then it’s just a dream.read more
Sharon Haver: That’s brilliant and I hope you listen to this because Jackie is full of just so many amazing nuggets. I hope you not only listen to it now but I want you to come back tomorrow and listen to it again because you’ll get more out of it and I also want you to bookmark this episode so that those days when you’re kind of feeling blue and stuck and you don’t know what to do, just listen to Jackie here. It’s incredible.
So I have a question for you; one of the things I like to ask people is what does amazing mean to you or look like in your life? So if you had to describe what is amazing, what would that be?
Jackie Ruka: Oh wow, I’ve lived a very blessed life in the fact that I’ve traveled a lot, I’ve experienced a lot of the world, I’ve surrounded myself with positive people; people who I aspire toward are the people I want to spend time with. And I think what I find amazing are the miracles that take place especially when you’re not looking for them. When things pop up in synchronistic manners and something amazing happens and for example, perhaps you are thinking ‘I really need to meet this person who’s going to help me do XYZ because I don’t know how to do it and then next thing you know, you’re sitting down having a cup of coffee with somebody and they’re like, “Hey, there’s this person I really want you to meet who might be able to help you with your creative projects.” And it’s like, “Oh, okay” and then you meet that person and it’s kismet, it was meant to be. To me those are the miracles of life because even so…
Sharon Haver: Yeah because somehow you state your intentions to the universe and somehow it just happens!
Jackie Ruka: Yes and so people neglect their intentions and what is amazing is when you set an intention and then you kind of forget about it and all of a sudden that amazing thing, that miracle, happens.
And you’re like, “Oh yeah, I set that intention. I had the intention and needed to meet this person who could help me with this facet of my creative project and boom, it happens and what’s so great about intentions is you’re not really focused on the outcome so much and then all of a sudden, boom. It happens in the divine timing and the miracle takes place and the synchronistic occurrences start to play themselves out and that to me is the amazingness of what takes place in our lives every single day, if we’re open to it. You have to be open to it.
Sharon Haver: Absolutely. My husband says “What’s your intention? What are you giving the universe you have to?” I’m like “No, I wholeheartedly believe.” And I know in my career too where I’ve sort of set my mind open and think, “I would love for this to happen and this is what I want and I really want this to happen. I really want to meet someone who can do that, I really want it to work…” and I sort of forget about it but I kind of put it out there mentally with myself or I’ll tell someone else and then a reasonably amount of time passes and all of a sudden I realize “Wow, okay here it is now. How did that happen? Isn’t that funny and ironic?”
And I don’t know how it works, I can get a little woo woo, but it happens and I think that it’s so important to say it, set it and see what happens. And then of course you have to work it for it when it comes but maybe it will also direct your eye where to work and what to look at.
By setting your intention to I want it to happen, you’re going to start figuring it out; how to travel with bonus miles just to get that ticket to Paris rather than buying some course that will make you feel like it. Maybe it will teach you how to live life more and set the path as to where you can go to go find it rather than just digging.
Jackie Ruka: Absolutely, it’s like alright, when you go shopping and you’re looking for those hot red boots that you really want. Well, when I’m going shopping for those hot red boots like “I really need those hot red boots,” I go out and guess what? I don’t find them!
Sharon Haver: Exactly.
Jackie Ruka: They’re not there because I’m in such a I need, I need these right now and I can’t find them anywhere and when I’m like “Oh, I would really like those.” I’ve really been wanting some really hot looking red boots and then I kind of forget about it and then I’m haphazardly whatever, walking down the street and happen at a store that I stop and I’m like, “Oh, there they are.”
Sharon Haver: So true, yeah.
Jackie Ruka: And I’m not in a feeling of desperation or need, I’m in a feeling of ”wouldn’t it be nice,” I’m just going to open myself to wouldn’t be nice to have that and just invite it to happen and don’t force things. I don’t feel the desperation mode because that is actually a form of resistance and we all get in our resistant mode because it’s also a form of sabotage to change. So if you want to make a really big decision in your life, that’s great but don’t sabotage yourself, we all have this tendency to sabotage ourselves.
Sharon Haver: That’s so true and on a deeper level but on a more, I don’t know, superficial level? When people say it going back to those words, “Red boots?” So many people say to me “What five pieces do I buy? What do I need to have…” There’s no answer to what five pieces to buy and if you say “I have to have this thing, that thing and that thing,” you’re never going to find it. You’re just going to torture yourself shopping and think “I hate shopping, I hate doing it.”
But if you set yourself open to “Oh, I can use a new pair of black pants or some red boots or maybe I need a new coat this year and you’re kind of walking around, la de dah, looking into store windows, looking online, it’s like, “Oh wow, these are cool.” Or maybe if you don’t even need it but you kind of say, “Hmm, that looks like a nice thing I flipped through in a magazine.” Like “Oh wow, I like these boots, it’s kind of the end of the season, they’re on sale! I’m going to get them for next year.” It just happens and then because people say “Oh you must love shopping;” I hate shopping because shopping to me is doing exactly what you said, it’s neurotically looking for those red boots.
I like window shopping and walking around and never knowing when something will turn up and being surprised then thinking “Oh that really works” and that’s when you find not only the best things in your wardrobe but usually you would find them on sale.
So there’s the extra bonus because you find them when you’re not desperate to find them. It’s like you suddenly have a special occasion and you have to go find an evening dress or a cocktail dress and you know how horrible it is. It’s the end of the season and they’re only showing summer dresses and it’s still winter where you are but you’re wearing it next week. So it’s like, if you’re going out there and say, “Well that’s a cool, basic, cocktail dress. I could wear it for something;” just buy it. And then you know what happens when it’s in your closet? If it’s right for you somehow the situation turns up when you really need to wear it and you have it and it’s easy and you’re ready and I think by setting your intention that way and being open, it puts you in a state of ready and ready means ready to receive without what you were saying, the desperation of “I have to find red boots.” It’s like, “Ah, I can’t even think of a single way to spend my day than I have to find red boots” or “wow, those are cool red boots and so are those leopard ones over there. I think I’m going to get those too.” It is a whole different mindset.
Jackie Ruka: It is and that’s exactly it. Your thoughts are things, like I said, your thoughts turn into things but also be careful what you ask for. In other words, when you’re setting the intention, make sure it’s the exact intention that you’re open to receiving and don’t make it such an intention that you think “Okay, I want to win the lottery and I’m going to win the lottery and it’s going to be whatever, a hundred million dollars.” Well that may happen. It may not happen tomorrow and then if it did happen are you ready to receive it? Are you prepared to receive it? And I think people can trip themselves up. “Well I don’t deserve,” – they go into that I don’t deserve mode and it’s just like the same with your happiness. So many people are in this mode of thinking they don’t deserve their own happiness.
We all had a happiness seed that was built within us and it’s your job to nurture it, it’s your job to water it and put sunshine to it based on the choices that you make. And so the choices that you make are either going to lead you closer to your happiness or lead you down the I don’t deserve road and you stay stuck. Sometimes recognizing that you do deserve happiness is recognizing that you’re going to need to also make some choices and some of them could be a little bit scary and that’s okay because if you’re willing to lean in to deserving your happiness then you’ve really got to be open to making some changes which means making smart, wise choices and checking it in with, ‘How does that make me feel?’ Often we don’t focus on what makes us feel good, we’re stuck in our minds or we’re stuck in our phone or we’re stuck in front of the computer but we’re not really checking in with our feelings and then before you know it, it’s like another year has gone by.
Sharon Haver: Absolutely.
Jackie Ruka: And you didn’t accomplish that dream or that goal or that creative project or whatever it was that really jazzed you and you put it on the back burner and that is almost really denying yourself of what you deserve because the universe, God, whatever you believe in, is so plentiful and has so much to offer.
You have to open yourself up to feeling deserving of it and again it’s a mind shift of I am going to hand you a bowl of oranges Sharon, but you’re sitting at a table with three other people and there’s only two oranges, what are you going to do with them? Are you going to give them away? Are you going to cut them in half? No, you’re going to take all of the oranges for you because the universe is specifically giving them to you because you’re deserving of them.
Sharon Haver: That’s pretty heavy stuff.
Jackie Ruka: Yeah well guess what? We are complex people. We don’t have to be complex, we could actually be very simple. We get caught up in the analysis/ paralysis and again stay stuck or don’t have the clarity and that’s where the stress comes in because stress is usually a feeling within you of doing something that you didn’t agree to do, but you’re doing it and therefore you’re compromising yourself. And people end up in a state of constant compromise and then they recognize that they’re stressed out or they’re not sleeping well or they’re eating junk food or don’t have time to work out or they’re in a relationship that’s not feeling good or all of the above and hate their job, they’re commuting every day and they’re unhappy. Those are things where you’ve agreed to do something even though you knew deep inside of you it’s not really what you wanted to do, it’s not really what you’ve agreed to do so in order to step out of that, write down all the things that you are compromising.
Sharon Haver: Yeah, let me say this because I always like to ask people, “If you can give someone a couple of tips on what you can do in the next seven days to make your life more amazing?” Let this be Jackie’s teaching moment of what you need to do, to write down so everyone sets their intentions on it. So what would be the few things that they can write down that they can do this week and say, “I was listening to Jackie Ruka on Seven Days to Amazing. She’s America’s Happyologist and she told me to…” Go Jackie.
Jackie Ruka: One; detox. Detox your life meaning get rid of the junk and I mean really get rid of the junk. The clutter in your life that’s not serving you anymore. The clutter in your house, that a cluttered house is a cluttered mind; get rid of it. The clutter in your relationships, if you have toxic people in your life, it’s time to say goodbye or move away.
Detox your body. This is really a mind, body, spiritual, mental, emotional detox. So when you’re detoxing you also need to recognize where you’re compromising yourself and that could be anything from the things that you’ve been putting off like maybe you have a dirty car that needs to be washed or a messy desk or you’re not charging enough for your services and so you’ve been compromising, you’ve been holding off or holding back and settling and being put in a position that you really don’t want to be in. So write out a hundred ways that you are compromising yourself.
Sharon Haver: A hundred ways?
Jackie Ruka: A hundred.
Sharon Haver: I could think of a few right now [laughing].
Jackie Ruka: Right, exactly. So when you write them down and really think about all the ways that you’ve been compromising yourself; start to detox all of that. Start to check it off your list so that you can become whole again and there aren’t these bits and pieces of you that are going out there or not going out there anymore because you don’t want to compromise yourself anymore. So that’s my number one way in which to stop compromising yourself and also recognize that it’s time to forgive, meaning so many people get caught up in, “Oh I should have done this or that didn’t work out so well or I failed at that” and if you’re not failing it means you’re not trying.
Sharon Haver: Yeah let’s say that again, if you’re not failing; you’re not trying and you’re not pushing yourself. Everyone who says they’ve succeeded in everything they’re doing is not really doing anything that’s that much of a push. It’s like if you were always the smartest person in the room, you’re probably in the wrong room.
Jackie Ruka: Exactly.
Sharon Haver: We all need to push ourselves and by failing that means you have pushed yourself and you’ve learned to go forward so that’s a fantastic point.
Jackie Ruka: Yes so express who you are. Recognize, “Well what makes me unique?” So what makes you unique? Write it down. We all have things within ourselves, the essence of who we are is your uniqueness, your talent, your gift. Things that you are meant to be imparting to the world and why you were put on this earth as your purpose and often people overlook their purpose or not tap into their purpose or they’re scared of their purpose or they don’t know really what makes them unique. So write down all the things that make you unique. What are your strengths? What are you good at? What do you enjoy? Write them all down because that’s where you’re going to see how amazing you really are; when you start embracing what makes you unique and not being scared of it and start sharing what makes you unique and what your gifts are.
If you can find that sweet spot of combining your strengths and your unique gifts and be able to package that in a way to help others, voila, you have just branded yourself in a manner that not only perpetuates your purpose and your passion but you can actually even profit from it.
Sharon Haver: So what happens when… because we have a question, for those of you who are not in it, I have a Focus on Style Insiders group and if you go to www.focusonstyle.com/insiders, you’ll see how to get into this private group.
I’ve asked a couple of questions in there and TLatasha has a question that I think we haven’t addressed because sometimes what happens when what’s holding you back is coming from the outside world and it’s beyond your control and she asks, “How can I supercharge my happy quotient when I’m dealing with people with serious illnesses because sometimes you don’t want to be a Debbie Downer.
I know I’ve taken care of sick relatives and my mom when she wasn’t doing very well and you still need to find your joy but how do you keep taking care of other people and being there, and serving people who you love who are ill and without it affecting your daily happiness?”
Jackie Ruka: Right, obviously there will be times where you’ll be called upon to be perhaps a caregiver and you may not necessarily want to be the caregiver but you’ve been appointed somehow in your family as being the one who’s going to be the “oh she can handle that, let her do that.”
And when you are a caregiver and you’re helping a family member or someone close to you, you cannot do it alone because you will give your entire life caregiving for somebody who has a mental illness or a physical disability, whatever it might be, if you’ve got other aspirations and if you’re not feeding them you are going to wilt and die. And so…
Sharon Haver: And that’s Tweetable! You’ve got other aspirations and if you’re not feeding them you’re going to wilt and die. That is something that you can write down and post on your refrigerator door, go make a meme of it. Go to Canva or Picmonkey and make a meme and like stick it on your wall. That’s a great one.
Jackie Ruka: Right, so the bottom line is this, if you’re surrounding yourself with negative vibrations then you need to start vibrating higher and as soon as you get up in the morning and you’ve got this heaviness of whether it’s a job you don’t want to go to or it’s taking care of a person, being the caregiver for some reason you assigned yourself or somebody assigned you to be doing something that you really don’t feel equipped nor do you really have the heart.
If your heart’s not in it, then it’s not going to work and so again you start compromising yourself which becomes stress. Stress turns into what it’s known as: disease. It starts building up in your body and in your brain and then you’re really not captivating what inspires you so…
Sharon Haver: Remember those oranges; they are there for you to inspire yourself.
Jackie Ruka: Yeah and so when you’re giving a lot of yourself but you’re not getting in return then obviously you need to be changing the energy of I’m giving, giving, giving but I’m not getting in return unless your heart is in it. If your heart is in it, then it’s not about the giving, it’s a natural return because you enjoy and you love doing it. And the joy and the love of doing it is the return but if you feel like this is an uphill battle and you’re paddling upstream, turn the boat, put the boat around.
Sharon Haver: Turn the boat, let’s leave it on that; turn the boat.
Jackie Ruka: Right, start going downstream and if you need help, don’t be afraid to ask for it even if its professional help. If you don’t have the means or the funds to get professional help there are organizations out there that could possibly help based on your economic situation, that have resources. There are resources out there so with every problem there is always a solution.
You just need to step outside of that funk that you might be in and just get outside of yourself and start looking for and asking for help.
Set the intention of “who can help me with this and how can I better position myself” so that you are feeling fulfilled and this person is getting the help that they need because you’re doing that person a disservice if you’re not putting the oxygen mask on yourself first.
Sharon Haver: Exactly, if you’re not fully present with yourself and I think that’s the thing that so many people just ignore. It’s easy to ignore yourself because you don’t see yourself but you’ve got to put your own oxygen mask on first and it’s a hard lesson but I think once you come to it, you just end up feeling happier and you just don’t feel used and abused. You just feel energized so I think that’s a really important lesson. So Jackie tell me, what are you jazzed up about right now? What are you working on? What is your big thing that we should all know about?
Jackie Ruka: Okay, well a couple of things. I’m launching a new program for entrepreneurs, working women who want to express their greatness to the world by having a positive mindset to do so and start thinking more positive about what you have as an expert in your field. And a program that I have, it’s a six-week course that is a live tele-course and to not only just reach your goals and get all your creative ideas packaged in together but to feel good about it. Excited about it with all your amazing self and have the world’s mindset to go along with it so you stay in what I call the up spiral of your business, of your passion. Stay in an up spiral meaning you got the energy and the creative force and the tools to move you forward and skyrocket your business in a happy way.
Sharon Haver: At the beginning of the show I say that everyone can find you at www.Gethappyzone.com, so what is another great way for people to find you if they want to connect with you on social media or this great program? What’s the best way to find you Jackie?
Jackie Ruka: You can go to Facebook; Get Happy Zone and that’s where you’ll see my America’s Happyologist page where I have all the events and information that I have happening. I have only four seats left in the course and we start on Tuesday so if you’re interested please contact me and I will give you a complementary brainstorm session about your business. And if this course is for you then great, then we could move forward and you can find all of that on my Facebook page; Get Happy Zone.
Sharon Haver: Yeah and don’t forget www.Gethappyzone.com.
And guess what guys? Jackie’s site looks happy. You know when you talk about people looking on brand, you look at her site and there’s a picture of Jackie and she’s happy. You’ve got to go see what a beautiful picture behind her of a heart that she’s painting in this color and that’s another thing.
When you go to someone’s site or own your site, you want to make sure that your web presence, your personal brand, your style brand, everything about you is in sync and Jackie’s site is just beautiful. Since she’s America’s Happyologist, I encourage you to go to Gethappyzone.com and we will be seeing you on the next episode of Seven Days to Amazing and thank you, thank you Jackie for being here today.
Jackie Ruka: Oh thank you, I so enjoyed it Sharon, it was wonderful.
Sharon Haver: Great, we just love having you and listen people, I encourage you; come back to this episode again the next time you feel like you’re having your Debbie Downer day, listen to this. Talk to you soon, see you soon and thank you everybody.
0:48:54.0 End of Interview
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