07:57

Sharon Haver: Wow, yeah. And it’s so interesting. How do they get to that point in their life where they’re aware or cognizant of the fact that they could be carrying some money baggage? How do they get to you to begin with?

08:16

LoriAnne Reeves: Well, most people start coming to me around building their business, but I quickly turn it around to the money because I know if we don’t handle those money stories they’re not gonna make any money. And I had to do it for myself too. And guess what? I’m still working on it because we’re so influenced by how we grew up and the baggage we have as adults and what we hear in our culture.

But the second piece I wanted to bring up that ties into this, Sharon, is people have tons of fear around money. And it plays out in a couple of scenarios. One, if they make too much money. Maybe they’ll have to leave people behind because people have them in their little box of who they are. Maybe they’re supposed to be the helper, not the person that’s supposed to be out there making the money they want. And they have a fear of being too much. Because if you’re too much, then people also start talking about you. So those two fears really play into people building their businesses to the level they really want to.

09:20

Sharon Haver: That’s so interesting because the fear of being too much is something that never occurred to me. Sometimes I call myself this two headed monster because I was in the fashion business for so long and everyone there just wants to be too much and fabulous. And then being an entrepreneur and having a business background as well, dealing with business people who are sort of afraid to put themselves out there, they’re afraid to show up, and as I started working more with entrepreneurial women, I realized that it wasn’t what they were wearing as far as the shoes, the hair, the eyeglasses or whatever.

It’s deeper rooted into a very concrete and obvious fear of just being out there and being too much and being seen and being noticed and that they have pigeonholed themselves back in such a place where they were comfortable, and they were making all these movements and getting coaches and programs and further education to break free, but they were so afraid of getting to that point. They were basically holding themselves back by walking into a room looking like their 1982 yearbook photo or looking very underrated. So it was a sort of self sabotage. And as you talk to them a little further, it also goes down to how they look at money. Like a fear of flying in so many different levels. So they spatter money around like breadcrumbs but they’re afraid to lay it down where it will help plant the seed and help them grow.

10:58

LoriAnne Reeves: Absolutely. So the fear is what that ties into and what you’re actually talking about is how women especially, look at money and equate it to their self-worth. So if they have the fear of being too much, that means their self-worth is not where it should be and that equates to how they handle their money. So it’s this vicious cycle unless they look inward. And what happens is, as you know, we’ve seen it so much in our upper mastermind. We see it when we’re out there at live events. Is that women, especially women entrepreneurs, they buy the next bright and shiny object program. They hire this coach, they do this, they do that, but they’re still looking outwards when they should be looking inwards first and then you plan what coach you need to hire. Then you plan what client attracting program you need to have. The work that I do is to get them(women entrepreneurs) to look inwards so they can break free and be all they want to be.

 

12:05

Sharon Haver: That’s great.

12:06

LoriAnne Reeves: Also Sharon, two things that I’ve noticed in over 20 years of working with folks; men come to me and say “I worked too much, I didn’t have my family life that I wanted,” and so they’re getting ready to retire, that’s their regret.

Women, when they get to a certain age and they feel those years are less and less, say to me “I wish I had lived up to my potential.” And that is such a regret of being fearful of being too much and then at the end of your life, regretting what you didn’t do in terms of your talent, what you could give to the world and what platform you could have out there.

12:45

Sharon Haver: And that’s such an interesting thing because I know as we’re all getting a little bit older and people are like, “Oh, I don’t want to get older,” well you know you have a choice. You don’t have to get older. I don’t think you want that choice. So if you’re gonna get older, then why are you living a life of regret?

Once that awareness happens, shouldn’t this be your time to say I’m back on the grid! I know I’m doing it. I’ve been a mom, I don’t regret being a mom for one… it was the best thing I’ve ever done is to be a mother. I adore my child to pieces, that’s my happiest moment. But at the same moment, now that he’s starting college(and he’s in the house right now so he can probably hear me) it’s just awesome. I’m back on the grid. Because you’re not my number one responsibility. I’m back to being me and I don’t feel that I put myself aside or anything for him, but it’s just your importance levels. Your priorities shift a bit. So I don’t understand when people say “oh, I didn’t live up to my potential.” Well, raise your potential. What do you want to do today? And so how do you deal with someone to get to that point where they’re alive for today and tomorrow, not because of the past. Free yourself from that so you can get to what’s next.

14:04

LoriAnne Reeves: Right. And so, again you tie into my other fear that women have is that they are geared towards helping others taking care of their families, and you’re right. I’ve gone through the same thing. I had one child after many years of trying and I turned a lot of my attention to him and though I didn’t sacrifice myself completely, but women have that tendency to keep doing that in their business.

And they keep thinking that if I just help more, my client is going to pay me. No, your client is going to take advantage of you. So the fear is if I stand up to be all of me, then my family, my client will leave me behind and I will be left behind. So that first fear I talked about now plays into what you’re talking about.

And it’s paralyzing for women because they’re such creators and helpers and caregivers and it’s not that I don’t want them to continue to do that, I want them to stand in their power and deliver that for their clients and be well paid at the same time.

15:15

Sharon Haver: Exactly. Sometimes you have to realize, especially in business, you have to put the oxygen mask on first. You know? Before you can save someone. My father used to have this expression where you can’t fix a sparrow with a broken wing.

15:31

LoriAnne Reeves: Absolutely.

15:33

Sharon Haver: You want to. You can help the sparrow, put it in a little sock so it protects its wing and heals, but there’s only so much. There’s only so much.

Tell me a bit about how your week works out. So people looking into it, I know they see the life of an entrepreneur, and you are a business speaker and you are on the speaking circuit, bravo to you. And you also have a pattern making business. You also understand what fits, it’s interesting. And I love the idea that pattern making is still around and I was just talking to a friend who makes his own clothes. So tell me a little bit about how your average week goes and if you want, tell me what’s your perfect, ideal week?

16:16

LoriAnne Reeves: Ok. Well, my average week. So gosh, it’s already Friday and I think “how did this happen?” But, this is a week I’m not traveling, so when I’m not traveling I’m doing some local networking. It’s towards the end of the year and I’m concentrating right now on trying to book my speaking gigs for the first quarter of 2017. And my average week, when I’m not traveling, is working on content, on creating blogs, on networking. I’m on the phone with my clients doing my coaching, and when it comes to my pattern business I’m also putting some time aside to go ahead and bring out the next pattern that I want to bring out.

17:00

Sharon Haver: How many patterns do you bring out at a time?

17:04

LoriAnne Reeves: It just depends. I’ve designed them all. Yes, I’ve designed them all! I have 14 right now. I’ve got 3 in the pot. The reason I went this route is I am a curvy gal. One of my loves, my grandmother and I always sewed together when I was young. And she taught me the business because she was a bridal gown designer in the small state of Rhode Island.

She taught me the skills and I took it as a minor in college, pattern drafting. And I’ve got a curvy body, Sharon, and I get tired of not being able to find everything I wanted and the kind of designs I wanted. So I started for myself and then started selling them to other women and to professional women that take them with the fabric I sell them and take it to someone who can make it for them and fit their body perfectly.

17:59

Sharon Haver: Wow, that’s great. Yeah, a friend of mine was saying that he does it for himself because he’s so tall and it’s just easier. It’s funny, because when I was a little girl my mom used to do a lot of sewing and fixing, and every time I was sick she would sit up all night and make my Barbie doll an outfit. So my Barbie dolls had all these couture clothes. If I was sick I would wake up and Barbie would be sitting at my nightstand wearing a new outfit. And as a matter of fact, on my shelf behind my desk I have one of my favorite old Barbies and she’s wearing a gold knit 3 piece suit and it has this fabulous coat with baroque lining.

18:43

LoriAnne Reeves: I remember those days.

18:45

Sharon Haver: I have another outfit behind. But no, it’s just one Barbie and it always reminds me because my mom used to would make the patterns. My grandmother had the sewing machine and she always had the patterns. But my mom used to piece it all together and it’s like I could rig things, but I’m never good at that. And that’s funny because I grew up with it. You’d think it’d be a skill that I would have, but no. But I can rig things! I have this friend I was talking to, how to make this full crinoline. Like if you can’t find it, you just go find some tulle and you put a piece of elastic underneath it and you do some ghetto couture. And it’s like you go to that. Maybe that’s the stylist in me. Give me some duct tape and some clamps and I can make anything.

But patterns, I don’t know? I come from a family of it and it didn’t hook up. So tell me, what does style mean to you? Because I know you have your business style, you have your professional style. I know you have a signature color, which is that really beautiful kind of French Electric blue. And you’ve got your business brain on but you also, when you project yourself you have a definite LoriAnne look. So tell me the big picture of business and life and the whole thing of making it amazing, what does style mean to you?

20:05

LoriAnne Reeves: Oh, great question. For me, it was the realization that my style had to be based on me. Just like my business has to be based on me. So style means to me that I have to look at my body and say, yes, I am an hourglass and a full figure hourglass and I have this certain personality and I have to meld the two. For me it’s all about style complimenting my body shape, making sure my proportions are good, and fitting me wonderfully and giving me some room and comfort. And electric blue, every time I wear it, that French cobalt blue, people always compliment me on it so I’ve adopted it as my color because people love it on me, and I obviously must look good in it.

Style means I can run around in the world and people when they start to know me know, yeah, that’s LoriAnne. That I have adopted my personality in my clothing. A little bit tailored but with some extra oomph to it. Leather here and there. Because I don’t do well with, because of my shape, in anything that’s too foo foo. But I know how to dress my body and put those details of my life on my body.

21:26

Sharon Haver: How does that translate into the way your site is and your business and your general personal brand? Because I also say a lot of things when I work one on one with people, with any of my courses and programs, I want you to look worth it. I want you to look relevant. I want you to look rich. And rich doesn’t necessarily mean in the pocketbook, it means a rich and full life. Although it’s nice to have it in the pocketbook and look ready. So many of these women, you meet them at marketing and business events and they’re like “Oh, I am the so and so coach and I charge 6 figures to do this,” when it looks like you were cleaning the carburetor. I think not. You know?

22:09

LoriAnne Reeves: Yeah.

22:10

Sharon Haver: So how do you put it together for your business where you look like you’re the money lady?

22:16

LoriAnne Reeves: It goes back to that self-worth question. Those women you’re meeting out there, I have the same question…

How are you going to have someone hire you if you’re not looking like you are making the money that they want to make?

So it becomes a self-worth issue in terms of embodying my self-confidence, projecting my voice when I’m speaking, projecting my life out there. But still being me. I hear the complaint all the time, and I know Sharon, you hear this all the time. “I just want to be comfortable. I don’t want to wear this. I don’t want to wear that.” It drives me crazy because, as you know, because you are the stylist here, that if you do a bit of shopping you can find things that you are still comfortable with and embrace who you are and still look fabulous. You don’t have to go crazy over it. I think when you’re looking schleppy you’re telling the world you don’t care about yourself. And you don’t care about…

23:25

Sharon Haver: They don’t care about…

23:26

LoriAnne Reeves: You don’t care about your clients. How can you care about your clients?

23:29

Sharon Haver: When you look lazy, when you have a lazy appearance, why would I think that you’re not gonna be lazy to me? We all, especially women who work from home, you don’t exactly get jazzed up every day. But if you’re going out there how do you expect me to think that goes into your business if that is the first thing I’m seeing?

So I want you to go back and tell us a little bit, give us a couple of takeaway tips. Because we’ve gone sort of all over on this one. If someone is coming back to the same thing and is coming back to this fear of self-worth and fear of being too much. It all is the same.

And that’s one of the things I really want everyone to understand, everyone who’s listening and understanding 7 Days to Amazing, it’s not just what you wear. It’s not how you run your business. It’s not your tan couch with your macramé throw on it at home, your lifestyle. It’s everything that makes us all amazing. It all comes together. Everything we do is a sum of the parts and their synergy and it becomes greater than that one little thing. So if it starts with this story of having a faulty, iffy relationship with money story, give me 3 takeaways that someone can do this week to get in and get a better relationship with money so they can soar in other areas of their life.

24:59

LoriAnne Reeves: I’m gonna start with number one start observing the money story you may be telling yourself. Go back to what you heard as a kid. If you’re married or if you’re in a relationship, ask yourself how you’re discussing money in your relationship.  Number three, what are the cultural money stories you’re hearing out there? “Oh, money is only for certain people.” I heard that one as a kid. So make a little list.

Then once you make that list, start looking at how you behave in your business. How do you approach your sales calls? Are you excited? Do you not even want to hear the word sales conversation? Do you delegate out your money? Or do you pretend that money doesn’t even exist because another thing I get some backlash on is “you, know LoriAnne, money isn’t everything.” But in business it touches everything and you must see how you’re acting in your business. So you’ve got the story, you’re looking at your behavior, and when someone asks you, the third piece is the emotion piece and the fear piece.

When someone asks you how much do you charge, do you freeze? Do you have butterflies in your stomach? This tells you where you need to start. And if at any point in this conversation that I’ve had with Sharon to all your listeners out there, I’m talking to them, I have made you mad or you didn’t like what I said, that’s where you start.

Because it’s more of a projection about you than it is about me. It’s for you to look at whatever emotion you had around money, that’s the place for you to start digging internally. Because money is a tool. It has no emotion, it has nothing. We humans do this to money. So you have to look at yourself and where you get upset and that’s the first place you start.

26:51

Sharon Haver: That is such an incredible point. And it’s not on money, it’s on everything. And people get so angry with stuff and angry with “why did she say that?”

Well, why does that matter to you? It’s you. What nerve is that sort of triggering? What is it doing? Why are you getting that reaction? Because you really shouldn’t care, but obviously you care so much. So what is it in you that’s making you care so much about it? And that’s kind of I think the glue to all of this. That’s the core. And especially…

27:31

LoriAnne Reeves: I’m sorry. I was just gonna tell you, when people get angry that’s a mask for fear. When people procrastinate, that’s not laziness. That’s another mask for fear. All these things that we project are 100% masks for fear. And so in that moment you have an opportunity to ask yourself, “what is this about me that I just had this reaction?” That’s the first question you ask because it’s always is about you. Not about the other person.

28:03

Sharon Haver: That’s brilliant. If we had to have one takeaway on all of this from you, “what is this about me that gives me this reaction?” So I have this reaction. And you’ll see. So I just think this was really great and I love you. I just think you’re wonderful.

28:24

LoriAnne Reeves: Thank you.

28:25

Sharon Haver: So what I said at the top of the show is if you want to get more of LoriAnne you can go over to RewriteYourMoneyStory.com and she’s got something special for you. Do you want to tell us a little bit more about that or any other current projects that you’re working on? We’ll put the links underneath this on FocusOn Style.com. Have you looked into this on iTunes, you can go back to the FocusOn Style page or RewriteYourMoneyStory.com and get it there. But tell us about what else you’re up to?

28:56

LoriAnne Reeves: Also, when they go to that link they’ll be able to take a money mindset quiz and they’ll get a report on where to start thinking about how they view money. It’ll be nice for them…

I’m finishing up my new e-book, I’m getting ready to publish that. And I am going to start a major program starting in January, so people can get their money story right and really make the money they want in 2017. And, of course, I do a lot of one on one coaching. So if people are interested in that they can just drop me a line and I’ll be glad to chat with them.

29:35

Sharon Haver: Great. Fantastic. Thank you for being here and everyone, again, RewriteYourMoneyStory.com with LoriAnn Reeves and thank you LoriAnne for being here today. Those were brilliant takeaways! And I can tell you right now, I’m gonna have my team create some really cool memes to pass them around on social media.

Because there are really some good, juicy nuggets I think that will help all the listeners and everyone get a better relationship with money. And you know, it’s… what was that old song? Money is…? What is it? Money is everything?

30:11

LoriAnne Reeves: Money isn’t everything, but money touches everything in your business, and so that’s what I was saying. Thank you, Sharon. I loved being here. I love your energy and I look forward to more collaboration.

30:24

Sharon Haver: Thank you. Same here. Bye bye everybody. See you all soon.

30:29

That’s a wrap. Well, not so fast. Don’t forget to hop on over to FocusOnStyle.com for exclusive content to help you live your most amazing life with style and success. For even more great stuff that Sharon only shares by email, subscribe to her in the know list at www.FocusOnStyle.com/insiders. See you next time.