In honor of Valentine’s Day please revisit our Best of Sexpert Chic series, a new post every day until V-Day!
If it’s Wednesday, how about making it Hump Day?
Any relationship can cool off, and when it does, it can be daunting to try to heat it back up. Anyone who’s made failed attempts to do so knows that it can be a risky proposition. At Jimmyjane, we get a lot of emails asking how to heat things up again, so we thought we’d share some suggestions with you. Desperate times may call for desperate measures, but here are a few that won’t feel quite so… desperate.
1. Start slowly. Attempting to “jump start” your sex life with your significant other rarely has the intended effect – taking extreme steps can make everyone self-conscious when what you really want is a natural connection. Ease back into contact by ramping up the intimacy in your everyday interactions.
Touch more often – and more deliberately – as you go about your day. Linger longer on the hello or goodbye kiss. Once you’ve begun reconnecting outside the bedroom, reconnecting inside it (or in an elevator, car, or bath tub for that matter), will be much more natural.
2. Do unto your significant other. If you make an effort, take a risk, give a little extra, chances are your partner will do so in return. Making the first step can be unnerving, but the results are often surprisingly good.
As a simple way to start, give your partner the gift of an unforgettable massage – wrap up a Jimmyjane CONTOUR M+AFTERGLOW SENSORY SET, and imply that the real gift is yet to come. The massage candle and stone make it easy and exciting, and if you play your cards right, you’ll get the same treatment in return. (And that’s what we call a happy ending.)
3. Think different. It’s not hard to get into a rut – if something was good once, we’re apt to try it again. If it starts to get dull, we simply wish it was like it used to be. It can be easier (and more fun) to shift to a whole new angle than to try to relive the way things were.
Breaking patterns is a great way to reinvigorate the senses. Sleep on the opposite side of the bed. Find a new favorite position. Make out in a room you’ve never been naked in before. If you feel awkward making a change out of the blue, use a special occasion – Valentine’s Day, an anniversary, or simply “hump day” (every Wednesday!) – as an excuse to mix it up. Things will never be the same again. – Ethan Imboden
Original publish date January 29, 2009